Friendships.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflection lately.

There are people who say that the friends you make in high school will last you the rest of your life. Then there are those who have the same sentiments about college friends. Or those you make post-grad.

Who is right?

Sure there are some people I keep in touch with from high school. But there are others who just keep popping up when you don’t want them to, who keep you tied to the silliest memories and things you just want to forget.

I’ve meet so many amazing people in college. Some of my best friendships were formed here at Penn State. But with my track record, how many of these friendships are going to last once we walk across the stage in a month? All of them I hope but that is wishful thinking.

Something that’s been on my mind lately is forming a bridal party. I’ve heard so many stories of people who had a major falling out during the wedding planning process or afterwards. Who is important enough to be considered a part of this momentous day? How do you choose? Who comes first, family, high school friends, college friends? It’s crazy times and I just can’t fathom picking.

Frankly, I wish being friends was easy…and it is to some extent, but maintaining friendships is hard. It’s something I struggle with. I get caught up in my life and my world and sometimes forget about others. So to my friends, I’m sorry if I’ve been a bad one. But I appreciate each and every one of you. ❤

Do any of you struggle with this idea of friendship and how quickly they change? Comment below if you’d like to share.

Lots of love always.

-O

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25 Things I’m Thankful For!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving here is a list, in no particular order, of things that I am THANKFUL for!

1. My Family: I would be nothing without them. It takes a village and I grew up with the best village of them all.

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2. J: You are my best friend & the love of my life. I am so thankful for you, all that you’re doing, and all that you do everyday for me. You bring out the best in me (and sometimes the worst); I never want to be without you.

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3. My Cats: Lucy and Josie

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4. J’s Family

5. Tea

6. Books: Have you ever gotten lost in a good book? I have. It’s the best feeling. Check out some of my faves @confessions_of_a_Bookaholic13

7. My Friends!

8. The Penn State Blue Band: This group has given me so many opportunities and allowed me to form so many friendships.

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9. My Education

10. My Students (past, current, & future!)

11. My Job

12. Music

13. My Health

14. Laughter

15. Seeing the Seasons Change: I’m thankful to live in a place where I get to see the leaves change in the fall, the snow fly in the winter, flowers blooming in the spring, and the bright sun shinning in the summer.

16. Early Morning Gameday Wake-ups

17. Spending Time Outdoors

18. Thanksgiving Food: Do I need to explain?

19. Christmas Time & Music: *sorry* for the following picture, Mom.

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20. Snow

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21. Rain

22. My Teachers: Thank you for inspiring me, teaching me, and leading me especially as I enter into the profession myself!

23. Chocolate

24. Flowers

25. The Future

I hope that everyone can think of at least ONE thing that they are thankful for today!

“Be present in all things. Be thankful for all things.” -Maya Angelou

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

-O

Struggling

Everybody struggles. Some people more than others. Whether you’re a high school or college student, or an adult out in the work force, you’ve experienced some sort of stress . But are you one of those people who are always worried and constantly overwhelmed and can’t ever relax? Perhaps you have an anxiety disorder.

For one of my courses this semester (LLED 401) we need to create a critical literacy project. This is basically taking a social issue and using different mediums (or genres) to bring awareness and take action.

I chose ANXIETY as my social issue.

This is a really personal issue to me as I know many people who struggle with their mental health and/or have anxiety.

I also struggle with the constant feeling of being overwhelmed and stressed. Whether it’s all the course work I have this semester or just dealing with everyday life and things going on personally, I feel this immense pressure to be perfect. I’m not sure if I’m putting that pressure on myself or not. I worry about problems that are irrelevant or not that important. I perseverate over them most minuscule things and I always need to have my life controlled and planned out and get anxious and nervous if those plans change. Do I have anxiety? Well, I’ve never been officially diagnosed and honestly don’t think I ever will be. I don’t want to go see a therapist and I really don’t want to take any medicine that isn’t necessary. So, do I have a mild case of an anxiety disorder? Who knows.

But what I do know is that there are people out there who are really are suffering and struggling with this mental illness. That anxiety is not a word to use lightly. It is not some buzzword that covers all your basis and an overworked college student. If you think you suffer from anxiety please talk to someone you trust. A doctor. A parent. Friend. Or other loved ones. It is not something to be ashamed about. If you need the help please go get it.

Until next time….

-O

Day Two Blues

It’s the second day of the semester.

And I’m already crying.

I’m stressed out and anxious beyond belief.

I’ve gone to 4 of my 6 main classes (the others are 2 ensembles and an independent study). They all seem like they’re going to be so awesome and help me become a better teacher, but why this sudden crippling feeling of self-doubt? I’m stressed because I’m waiting for this “rapid refund”–which isn’t all that rapid–to come in so I can finish buying textbooks. The amount of work that these classes are going to have seems insane and inhumane.

I’m worried that if I don’t have these books now I’m going to get behind and not be prepared for class. And if I’m not prepared for class I’ll get poor grades. And if I get poor grades I won’t get a job. And if I don’t get a job I won’t be able to do the one thing I’ve always wanted to do–teach and help children.

I know it is for the good of the order and my future and that I’ll be able to do the work and do it well as the classes and weeks of this semester progress, but now it just seems impossible.

I also know that I have a wonderful support system between my family & boyfriend & his family & my close friends at home and at school.

I know I won’t fail..because when have I ever? I will do the best I can and make the best of all these classes and situations.

I know this is a really random post but I just needed to “talk”.

Let me know ways that you combat and deal with issues like this, especially the self-doubt.

Have a safe fun evening–it’s currently snowing here in State College. Winter has finally come!

-O